Adult children and their parents become more mature as family members age. This means that they have to be more compassionate and caring. Autonomy is something that most adults long for at any age. A 2017 study by HelpAge International revealed that senior citizens around the world are not allowed to have autonomy and make their own decisions.
Caregivers should be there for their aging parents, providing support and guidance so they can live fulfilled lives. It can be hard to deal with elderly parents. Here are five things caregivers and adult children should do for their parents.
1. Clear Communication
For healthy relationships between parents and adult children, it is important to have open communication. David Solie, a health consultant and expert on aging, stated to The Washington Post that aging parents desire adult children to:
- Pay attention to them
- You should take their concerns seriously
- Your advocate
Solie suggests that adult children of elderly parents ask their parents how they prefer to solve problems. Use those preferred methods to problem-solve and communicate.
Adult children shouldn’t tell their parents what they should do. Instead, give your choices and encourage decision-making to find solutions that reflect the values of the parents.
Caregivers should not assume that they are the best people for their parents’ aging parents. Aging parents can continue to make confident decisions by having a constant, open, and transparent dialogue.
2. Respect
As we age, it is more common for us to face mental and physical challenges that impact our quality of life. As their lives change, older adults want dignity and respect. In a 2020 study, Nursing Ethics reported that older adults desire to be recognized, valued, and visible.
When you interact with your parents, it is important to remember these desires. According to a study published in the Annals of Family Medicine, dignity and respect for aging adults can have a positive impact on their health and well-being. Caregivers should be respectful when interacting with elderly parents
- Communicate with common sense
- Open-mindedness and appreciation for the views of aging parents is a virtue
- Helping aging parents requires patience
For any relationship between adult children or aging parents, interpersonal skills such as compassion are essential. It is helpful to imagine yourself in the shoes of your parents and to think about how you would like to be treated if they were to reverse the roles.
3. Assistance
Adult children can offer help to seniors who need it, but they should not force them. According to a 2018 study published in the Journal of American Geriatrics Society, some older adults don’t want home-based support. These concerns can be alleviated by creating a “system of interdependence.”
Researchers suggest that seniors parents should be notified of how much it makes them feel to be able to help their parents. This may encourage aging parents to accept help because they will feel fulfilled.
It is also important to mention how older parents still make a difference in the lives of others. You might help your parents with their gardening work and they may give you great advice about your career. You can tell your parents what they do for you to make them feel that your relationship is mutual, and not just that they are accepting your help without returning it in return.
4. A sense of control
Aging adults need to feel in control. In Innovation in Aging, a December 2020 study found that control beliefs directly affect physical and cognitive health. A second study published in 2019 by the Journal of Gerontology: Psychological Sciences found that seniors who feel uncontrolled may have poor self-care habits.
Adults’ perception of control can be affected by their awareness of aging, and the impact it has on their ability to manage their lives. Senior parents can feel like they are losing control of their adult children and point out the problems caused by aging. You should be grateful for the positive things that you have learned from your parents, such as the wisdom they share or the influence your upbringing has had on your life today.
Involving parents in decision-making can help parents keep some control. Involve parents in any decisions that affect them. Make sure to communicate clearly and respectfully with your children so that they feel you are always looking out for their best interests.
5. Positivity
Positive thinking, which focuses more on the positive aspects of life than any negative aspects, can improve health and well-being. The Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America published a study in 2019 that found positive thinking can improve lifespan by as much as 15%.
It is important to be positive when interacting with elderly parents. It can be beneficial for their well-being to help aging parents keep their self-esteem high and maintains strong mental health.
Adult children can encourage their parents to keep doing the things that bring them joy. SilverSneakers is a safe and enjoyable way to keep your senior parent active. Parents can be connected with caregivers to meet new people and have fun.
It might be a good idea to suggest to senior parents that they start a gratitude journal or do it together. NPR reports that gratitude can help improve sleep, reduce stress, strengthen relationships, and decrease depression symptoms. Research on Aging published a 2019 study that found daily gratitude exercises can reduce loneliness and improve the health of older adults.
Help senior parents age gracefully
Aging can be difficult, but it can also bring you joy. Adult children and caregivers need to be sensitive to the wishes of their elderly parents for autonomy and control. Seniors can make decisions about their own lives by having open and respectful communication. Encourage seniors to participate in meaningful activities that bring joy.
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