You may experience many emotions as a caregiver or loved one of an older adult. Adult children don’t want to have a conversation about the future. It is not uncommon for families to delay having these conversations. Many fear that these topics are too sensitive for their loved ones and avoid having them.
Moving away from driving, Downsizing from large homes or Moving to assisted living communities are all topics that older adults may find difficult to discuss for fear of offending the senior.
It can be overwhelming to anticipate the awkwardness of these conversations and it may prove difficult at first. It’s important to remember that you are both a caregiver or loved one of an older person and that a plan for the future is essential. This will provide peace of mind and help ensure that your loved one receives timely and thoughtful care.
These helpful tips will help you to have these conversations with your senior loved ones.
Tips to Handle Difficult Conversations About Your Loved One’s Future
- The 40/70 Rule – Seniors and their families must make quick decisions and not wait for an emergency like an accident or injury to happen. In order to plan ahead, experts recommend using what is known as the 40/70 rule. This means that you should start talking about the future as soon as a parent turns 70 or a child turns 40. If you’re an adult child, it is important to make clear that your goal is helping your seniors live a happy retirement. They’ll be able relax and live the life they want by planning and looking ahead.
- Mutual Respect – These types of conversations can bring out a lot of emotion on both sides. It is therefore important to establish the right conditions for productive conversation. It is a good idea to establish ground rules before the conversation begins. This will make it clear and more effective. We recommend that you agree to listen and respect each other’s opinions. It is often surprising for adult children to discover how different their loved ones’ worries and fears are from theirs. An aging parent might be worried about funding assisted living, or losing their independence if they move. An adult child may be concerned that their parent might delay making changes, such as giving up driving. This could put their well-being in danger. To facilitate and support the conversation, it might be helpful to have a friend or family member present.
- Be Solution-Oriented – Remember that not all discussions need to be dark and tense. You can make sure that these discussions are positive and solution-oriented by starting the planning process. Talk to your parents about what they would like to do if their home starts to fall apart or if they have to take care of their hygiene. Are they more comfortable with having around-the-clock care at home or would they rather move to an assisted living facility? Discuss “what if” scenarios like future concerns regarding their driving skills and the dangers associated with living alone.
- Do Not Forget Next Steps You and your loved ones will probably not settle everything in one conversation. It is important to recognize that there will likely be a series of conversations. The gradual approach will allow seniors and caregivers to become more comfortable with the topic. You’ll be able to develop a thoughtful, flexible plan that is suitable for your loved one.
Grande Cypress Assisted Living is a member of the Circle of Life Communities of assisted living facilities. Located on the stunning and serene Jewel Lake in Lake City, FL, Grande Cypress is sure to help you live your best life and live it well.
The facility is 35 beds and features three sizes of private and semi-private suites. Eight rooms with kitchenettes and all rooms furnished with a mini-refrigerator/microwave combo. Discover how truly wonderful assisted living can be. Call us today for more information or to make a reservation.
All Circle of Life Communities are committed to providing individuals a place to age with dignity while helping maintain a purpose in a safe and caring environment.
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